I’ve been trying to write a blog post for ten days… I was hoping to dive deep into my shadow self dissect it and come up with something inspiring and worthy of sharing. I’ve written, I’ve dissected – I’ve uncovered… The thing about my vulnerability and or my own perceived weakness is that I don’t deal with it very well, in my opinion. I don’t like being weak, I don’t like being limited, I don’t like being injured. It’s hard to look at, it’s harder to feel and this time around I didn’t find a magical solution to it.
What I can tell you is how I did experience it. I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen to my gut. I didn’t go home when I needed to, I didn’t eat when I needed to, I didn’t meditate when I needed to. I distracted myself, I went out, I negative self talked, I self sabotaged, I watched tv (now don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a time and place for a good run of Scandal) but I didn’t really do the work I needed to. OR! I suppose, I did. I met myself where I was. I needed to be distracted because I didn’t know what to do with all of my feelings, I didn’t know what they were saying and I just couldn’t get comfortable. I moved through my tensions as softly as I could, albeit absentmindedly.
And then I realized that my rib protects my lungs, (bare with me) and my lungs are my life force. What did I miss that required such a dramatic wake up call? What had I committed to in such a way that was alienating me from my spirit? …. WORRY….
Oups. I’m off that train now happily on the other side of the discomfort.
Are you experiencing a physically manifesting wakeup call? What train do you need to hop off of?