Subject II Change

I’m a healer. I have been since the day I was born. If you wonder about my silence, it’s because I’m feeling you. If you wonder about my distracted eyes, and my wandering mind, it’s because I’m trying not to see without your permission. If you wonder why sometimes you look at me and I have to look away its because I’m afraid.  

She looked at me and said; what are you afraid of, where is your confidence? You don’t even know what you do, you don’t even know what you're capable of.  I looked at her, melting. She said you have integrity; you’re not trying to sell something you are trying to help. 

I sat there listening to her tell me what she saw, to her telling me I was bigger, telling me that this business of being shy is a silly safety net I have to cut away. I sat there completely adorned in her gemstones, my wrists infused with sandalwood beads, ancient jades, coral and gold. Draped across my palm and through my fingers her mala I had been praying on repeatedly throughout the day. She, an artist, a creator, a woman a goddess calling me out on my bogus fears with strength, conviction and a real Italian vibrato – how could I not hear her. How could I not feel her, allow her to tear off a layer, one I have desperately been trying to shed.  She did it, because I let her.

I am a healer, and you need me. You need love, I can give you that. You need to feel, I can show you that. You need to let go, I can get you there. It’s not about being ok, it’s not about being not ok, it’s about needing to let yourself discover you, deeply.

Your anxiety – I can help

Your depression – I can help

Your fear – I can help

Your loneliness – I can help

Your isolation – I can help

You feel struck and trapped in the same pattern – I can help

Your tummy hurts – I can help

Your heart hurts – I can help

You are afraid – I can help

Let me help you, it is the reason I am here. I want to guide you to cultivating your truth, to feeling your strength and to knowing your spirit. Trust yourself to know that this work I do, is for YOU.